I wish I knew...

Undergoing IVF can take a physical, mental, and emotional toll on you and your partner. To help you have the best IVF experience, follow these tips:

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1. Gather information in advance

Before starting IVF, gather as much information as you can in order to make informed treatment decisions. You can also use information gathered to better estimate how IVF may affect you emotionally and what you can do to prepare for and handle those emotional issues. Use A look into IVF as a starting point.

2. Work together

You and your partner should be in agreement about how you are moving forward in this process. It should be agreed upon that you are both fully committed to IVF before starting, which means supporting each other through the clinical steps and providing emotional support throughout the journey.

3. Help each other

IVF will challenge couples physically, emotionally, and financially. Help your partner manage the highs and lows during IVF treatment. Support can go a long way in staying positive about the journey and possibilities ahead.

4. Avoid the guilt trip

Remember that fertility issues are no one’s fault. And it is even more important to remember that you are not alone—many couples who try to have a baby may also have to deal with fertility issues. Don’t look to place blame somewhere; instead, try to work on a solution.

5. Identify sources of stress and coping mechanisms

Deal with anxiety by identifying which parts of the journey you think will be most stressful to you and then determining how you may be able to counter those anxieties. Common ways to tackle anxiety and stress are listed in Mind and body.

6. Maintain a strong relationship with your partner

People tend to become preoccupied with IVF treatment and find it difficult to focus on anything else. Make an effort to take time to enjoy other parts of your life. Resolve.org offers advice on how to cope with IVF with your partner and can refer you to support groups that can help you and your partner during this stressful time.

7. Talk to friends and family

Sometimes you need to talk to someone other than your partner. Friends, parents, and siblings can also be sources of support—talking to someone who isn’t directly involved in your treatment may help shed new light on issues or feelings you are having about the IVF process. For some tips on how to talk to others about fertility issues and treatment, visit Resolve.org. If you are uncomfortable talking to loved ones about your treatment, see tip 8 below.

8. Find virtual support

There are a great number of websites dedicated to fertility and IVF, and you can use them to gather information and connect with others sharing in this experience. If you have a question you can’t find an answer to, visit our Get IVF answers page or use our list of support sources to get started.

9. Turn to a counselor

Most IVF clinics offer counseling services or can refer you to a counselor. Fertility counselors are experts on the emotional aspects of fertility issues and fertility treatments. You may find comfort and support from a counselor with such expertise.

10. Look ahead and minimize regrets

If you’ve had multiple unsuccessful treatment cycles, it may be time to consider taking a break. Although the outcome of IVF is out of your control, you still have control over when to restart treatment and continue the journey to becoming pregnant.